May 26, 2010

THIS IS SOME SERIOUS RAMBLING, SO BE CAREFUL IF YOU DARE READ THIS POST!

You know that feeling of something is about to happen...well I had it big time the morning of May 26, 2010. I woke that morning with a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat. I was unaware of what God was up to, but dang I just didn't feel quite right. After a few close encounters with the toilet I finally made it to work.

It was 10:00am and I hopped right to work as I had just been out of the office for 2 days with jury duty. And then it happened, I was terminated. The details of it...well let's not relive it, but in that moment a rush of emotions came over me, overwhelmingly the feeling was, I can't wait to see what He does next.

And so here I am finding myself at NEXT and full of a range of emotions, including, boredom, anger, disappointment, happiness, relief, laziness, hopeful. (See, I told you it is a range of emotions.)

I have decided that documenting this season of life will be great as it will only make for an extreme praise party when NEXT comes. I have been trying to fill my open schedule with things not of this world as they are too trivial. Today my mom said, "God just wants to spend time with you. This is just for you and Him." With that thought I am trying to really focus on Him and learn the lessons of this season. Lesson 1 - A former co-worker of mine, AT, she used to always say trust over doubt. Why did I never think the apply that to my relationship with God. Trust over doubt! I believe that God is revealing that I am really missing the mark on trusting Him. If I had trusted Him I would have pulled myself out of a situation which I knew was not right for me. God will supply all my needs according to His riches (not my riches) in glory. I have said that verse countless times, but when the rubber met the road I didn't live it out. Well here is my chance. Trust over doubt! Trust over doubt!